Temperance

Prohibition! Speakeasies! Hidden dens of vice!

Knock Knock.

"We don't know you."

"Joe sent me."

"Come on in."

Music.

"Get me a beer and put beer in it."

But the police were shutting these places down. They had uncanny successes. People were desperate. Unable to find processed barley, they began licking the grain in the fields.

The farmers went to the president and complained. "Stop people licking our crops. Look at them out there. It's disgusting! Lap lap lap .."

"What can I do?" said the president, sighing and sucking a potato. "It's a free country."

"Sir, you're sucking a potato."

"I used to like vodka. Leave me alone."