Hatters

A group of contemporary pirates sat together watching a pirated copy of Pirates of the Caribbean. Most of them were African, some were from South-East Asia.

"We are underrepresented in Hollywood," one of them pointed out. "All of the pirates in this film are white."

"I disagree. There's this scene in the third movie ..."

"No, man, I mean we need to be main characters, real characters, ones the audience care about, not some black man standing in the background in part three. I mean like, what's her name, Keira Knightly. Do I look like Keira Knightly?"

They agreed that he did not look like Keira Knightly and never would.

"Exactly my point."

"So what do we do?"

"Hats."

"Beg yours?"

"We can't be white, we can't be Keira Knightly, we don't have any influence on Hollywood, we can't storm the place because it's inland, although I hear they might be shooting something in Hawaii next week," said the first pirate, who maintained a habit of multilingual fluency by following worldwide film industry gossip in books and magazines, "but we can wear awesome hats."

One of them leapt to his feet.

"I shall kidnap a hatter."

"Excellent."

"Good man."

"Problem solved."

They settled down to watch part two.