Babies

"I am going to visit the church to say thank-you to God for the new baby," a pious man said to his exhausted wife.

"Tell God I'm here," the newborn baby said, sitting up and shaking its fist. "Make sure he knows."

"He knows already."

"How?"

"God is everywhere. God is aware of everything."

"No prestige in that, is there?" the baby said. "Get him to forget me then."

"Impossible."

"Aha," said the baby. "So that's the challenge." It looked at its mother. "Why is she sleeping like that?" it asked.