Captain

They killed Captain Cook on a beach in Hawaii. A small girl accidentally saw it happen, and for years afterwards she would say, "I was a witness. I will write his biography."

"Then do," her friends said, bored. "Get on with it."

So one day she did. She wrote, "Captain Cook was on the beach, pushing a boat. They hit him on the head. He fell over."

"Where's the rest?"

"That's all I know."

They rolled their eyes at her and she shouted, "Then how do I find out about the rest? You're so smart, you tell me."

"Put yourself in his place. That's a good technique for an author."

"Yes, that's true. Do that."

"That should give you the answer."

They acted it out. She ran to the beach and pretended to push a boat with her imaginary crew, whereupon her friends struck her playfully on the head and she fell down, imagining herself dead.

"Realistic," they said encouragingly. "It's as if you were really him."

"Yes, it really is," she said, getting up. She'd had a brainwave. Going back to her manuscript, she started at the beginning. "I am Captain Cook. I was born on Hawaii, a little Hawaiian girl. When I was growing up I loved to eat fruit and play on the beach. One day I saw a group of men chasing some other men towards a boat. There was a fight. They hit ..." and with that, she died.